'To begin with, using words with either extremely positive or extremely negative connotations are used in juxtaposition in order to highlight the hierarchy of man below God. Line 9 of Anne Bradstreet's "Upon the Burning of Our House' tells of her call to God to "Strengthen [her] in [her] distress" (Bradstreet 9), a clear juxtaposition of the positive strengthen and the negative distress.
In the beginning of the year, my biggest inhibition was my tendency to try to sound smarter than I really was. While the ideas were still there, by using such simple diction and sentence structure their importance was diminished. For example: instead of using specific and illustrative terms to explain connotations, I settled for the typical, broad positive and negative. If I had capitalized on this opportunity to utilize higher diction I could have both created a more effective and consistent tone as well as better describe my argument. Another characteristic of this overcompensation is an extremely long and wordy thesis. In order to cover as much as I wished to cover, my theses became broader and broader. Instead of expanding on my theses, they were essentially summaries of everything I would argue. Once again, it was not a matter of ideas, but how I wanted to sound smarter than I really was. However, these issues did not present too difficult of a challenge; by simply believing in my ability as a writer and not forcing my tone to develop, my writing ability quickly matched the level of my ideas.
Excerpt from materialism synthesis essay:
"Finally, materialism can be enjoyable without having to be a burden on ledgers. When a new supermarket opened up nearby to Phyllis Rose, "People raced from the warehouse aisle... exclaiming at all the new things" (Source C". The increased variety and availability brought joy and amusement to the shoppers by giving them new experiences. Sure, they did not necessarily buy everything, but the sight alone was enough. There is a difference between buying and shopping. Shopping allows for the benefits of materialism without having to worry about the cost."
It is hard to show progress in writing through a short excerpt, this specific excerpt shows the progress made in the problem areas of the first. My level of syntax and tone may not be as high, but my control of my argument has skyrocketed. This trade off is fair because the key to any argument is being able to be understood, which requires simple control. At the same time, this does not mean that my writing has become overly simplified. My writing benefits from my ideas, as good ideas tend to write themselves. This transition also has helped me in preparation for the AP test because when I try to do more with less with my writing, I am less likely to blur my ideas during a 40 minute essay. I receive greater control and clarity, such that I can create a cohesive argument and worry less about bringing everything back together. That was another one of my greatest struggles: circling back to my main ideas. By not forcing my writing to be overly complicated, I left myself less loose ends to tie, resulting in the conclusion of more ideas. Overall, my writing simply made more sense.
Final Takeaway
This year has been my most evolutionary as a writer; all that my teachers have been teaching me finally seemed to click into place. My biggest revolution was the idea that less can be more, which has allowed me to be myself, develop a tone, and regain control of my ideas. My largest struggle has been building up my stamina. This issue can only be dealt with through intense practice, which is why the amount of writing we did before the AP test helped me so much. I was able to push the boundaries of how quickly I can write effectively and was always kept on my toes. In the future, I wish to keep expanding the conditions under which I write. I enjoy challenging myself to adapt my writing to fit the argument I am trying to make, almost like a game of choosing the right style. By simply taking control of my ideas and not trying too hard to sound perfect, the communication of my ideas has flowed incredibly easily. However, my evolution as a writer is not done yet and I look forward to my continuation of progress in 12 AP.
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